Dear BFF Peaches, Lulu, Mew Mew, Mat, Abbey, Annabelle, Ren, Bazinga, Ninja, Rosie, Scribble, Ming, and all my friends who I’ve missed so much this summer because ‘you know who’ wouldn’t let me work on the computer, and wouldn’t come home to play with us, and won’t give us treats, and hasn’t made any Encheesladas, and won’t let us in the kitchen, and has made this the least fun summer ever,
hmmm… well, I guess that pretty much covers it all.
Oh-and it rained a lot last week.
EVA: So, what did you bring back from the CAT Show? Did you find lots of toys and fun stuff for us?
R: Well, I saw lots and lots of cats there. I thought I’d bring a few home…
EVA: Oh. CATS. That’s not very original, you know. How many did you bring with you?
R: Just a dozen or two.
EVA: But…that’s almost a gazillion! What are we going to do with that many CATS? Geesh, it’s a good thing you didn’t go to a dog show-that would have been a complete disaster! So where are all of these CATS. They’d better not be invisible like Pete-it’s bad enough living with just him. He’s been driving us crazy all summer, and we…
R: Okay, calm down Eva. I didn’t bring any cats home. But I did get a little treat for each of you on the off-chance that you were good while I was gone all weekend. Now…where’s the bag I just set down on my desk?
EVA: I’m sure I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about…I haven’t seen a single bag with CATnip toys in it or anything like that anywhere at all anyplace around here on your desk–Ever!
R: Wait a minute-that looks like it in the corner. But it’s shredded to bits! There’s nothing in it! Where are all the nice kitty toys I bought?
EVA: It’s empty?! Can you believe that?! You just can’t trust people. I’d go back to the show and tell them they forgot to put our toys in the bag. Hey, when you go, see if they have more pink ones…
EVA: Excuse me, I have a list of what we’d like you to bring back from the CAT Show.
R: Eva, I’m trying to get ready to go.
EVA: No problem. I’ll read it to you while you’re getting dressed. Let’s see…squeaky mice for me…Frannie says she’d like some real mice-I think maybe those ought to squeak as well but she didn’t specify. We’d like some new bed pads-a really thick one for Scrappy, and a couple new water fountains. Now, we had the worst time deciding which toys for you to get, so we decided that one of each might work just fine. Please give our address to Vincent CAT so he can come visit us. Um…oh-could you see if there are some steps for me to use to get onto the bed? I think Santy Claws lost page two of my list last year-or maybe he just forgot to bring the steps…Okay…I think…
R: Bye everyone-I’m leaving for the show. Be nice to Remie-no fighting-stay out of the kitchen-keep off my desk. Look, just behave while I’m gone for a change, okay? Bye!
EVA: Wait! Wait! You forgot to take the list!
Oh no, this is so frustrating…..
R: Eva, if you want to sit in my lap you’ll have to stop staring at me.
EVA: But I’m practicing my mystical non-verbal feline communication skills.
R: Well go practice someplace else-I’m trying to read.
EVA: I can’t…I need to be right here so you can read what my magical feline brain is saying to you.
R: [sigh...] Okay, give me a clue so we can get this over with. All I want is to relax a couple more minutes before I have to leave.
EVA: Oh. Well alright…my magical feline brain is saying “it’s the weekend, let’s have some Encheesladas!”
So, how did it work? Are we having Encheesladas? Are you going to go make some right now?
R: Nice try, Eva. Right now I’m leaving for work. Bye-see you later.
EVA: Guys! Did you hear? I think she said “Encheesladas later”!!! I think it worked!!
EVA: I’m glad we’re having snuggle time. You’ve been gone a whole lot, lately.
R: Well, you know I was working with a very sick kitty. She needed help.
EVA: Did you have to take her to the hospital?
R: Yes, I did.
EVA: That’s not good. Did you give her lots and lots of smooches?
R: Of course I did.
EVA: So she’s okay now.
R: Um, well, she’s feeling better…what do you mean?
EVA: Well, everybody knows that smooches are the best medicine, so if you gave her a whole bunch of smooches she should be all better now.
R: Ahhh, I see.
EVA: Oh my-look at the time. I have to go now-it’s my turn to watch for Pete.
R: Huh? Eva, are you guys still searching for him?
EVA: Sure-every minute of every day. We have to catch him somehow.
R: We really need to talk about…
EVA: Can’t talk-gotta go.
Oh wait-first I need a smooch on the head for good luck.
Smooches are good luck too you know…
Be really really quiet and don’t move-at all!
We’re watching for Pete…he’s here somewhere…
EVA: Okay everybody-I’ve called you all together for this Emergency Cat’s-Only Meeting to talk about Pete. I know we’ve been searching the past week for him without any luck, and I’m beginning to think that maybe he really is a fig-mentia of our imaginary.
Harriet: Well, if that’s the case, how do you explain our empty food dishes? Just look-there’s nothing in them again!
Zeke: Yeah-and I can never find my dish-I just know he’s been moving it around all over the place!
EVA: Right. But if you think about it, we usually finish all of our breakfast and supper, so of coursically our dishes would be empty. And gee whiz, Zekey, you get so excited when it’s time to eat-you forget your dish is always in the same place.
Oh-hey Frannie-you done patrolling? Any luck this time?
Frannie: I was so close…this morning I ran into one of the mouseys and he shouted “oh-for Pete’s sake!”
EVA: And? And then what happened?!!
Frannie: Well, by the time I turned to look behind me, would you believe Pete was already gone? I mean, absolutely nowhere to be seen-I couldn’t believe it! He’s really, really fast!
EVA: So did you ask the mousey what he looks like? What did he say?!
Frannie: Nothing. By the time I turned back the mousey was gone, too! Good grief-what a day. This Pete is messing with all of us.
EVA: You know what-now we have proof that he exists and we’re just going to have to figure out how to out-smart him.
Come on everybody-let’s make a plan!